Being Single – the good and the bad

An overview of the single life – both the positive and negative side… as well as tips for singles to enjoy life to the fullest.

By Dr. Charmaine Saunders

What is it really like being single? Do singles truly hate being without a partner or secretly love it? Men and women might be single by choice or by circumstance, for a short time or for a longer time, however, most singles surveyed state they don’t want to stay unattached forever. The single status has less of a stigma attached to it these days as noted in the last census – 60% more unmarried people chose to call themselves `single’ rather than `divorced’ or `separated’. It is still considered a minority group but they’re catching up – maybe one of these days, there’ll be more singles around than couples. Statistics also show a marked increase in single-person dwellings throughout Western countries. Nowadays, there’s so much more choice in terms of employment opportunities, living arrangements and financial freedom. As a result, getting married is not the exclusive or automatic life choice anymore.

What is a ‘Single’?

The dictionary would say a single person is one who is unmarried. But what if someone’s unmarried yet seriously dating? What if they live with someone without the benefit of a marriage licence? After teaching University courses on being single for the past 10 years, I can honestly say I haven’t identified a `typical’ single – every one is unique and special. They are as varied as any other group of people. Society’s attitudes can be fairly negative. Singles are often branded as undesirable, bitter, overly-fussy loners who are incredibly selfish. Apparently the latest collective name for singles as a group is `quirky alones’ – doesn’t that speak volumes in itself? Let’s take a look at what it means to be single today – single but hopefully not dateless and definitely not desperate.

Potential Hassles

Others’ negative attitudes and judgements

Pressure from family, friends and married couples to get married

Well-meaning but annoying matchmakers

Social pressure to be part of a couple, sometimes even from a job

Stereotyping and being lumped under one standard label.

Not being invited to couples-only affairs

Shyness and low self-esteem

Being out of practice if returning to the singles’ scene after a long gap

Fear of being hurt again after a break-up

Cynicism about love and romance

Fear of being attracted to the `wrong’ type of person again

So how do singles avoid getting jaded, disillusioned and just plain fed-up?!

(Next page)