Is flirting ever appropriate in the workplace?

By Mitch Conway

Most of us spend at least eight hours a day at work – more time than we spend with our best friends and family. So it’s understandable that you should develop acquaintances and relationships with your colleagues. And of course, it’s perhaps inevitable that you should be attracted to some of the people you work with. Since attraction leads to flirting, the question then becomes: in a professional work environment, how much flirting is too much? Is a little okay? Maybe. After all, today’s competitive environment means more stress at work, and a bit of innocent teasing could just be a nice way to take the edge of a long project. But it could also be too much, and it could make some people uncomfortable. So how does one navigate these treacherous waters? Here are a few situations where flirting can be a problem, and some solutions for how to deal with it.

When is an employee too flirtatious?

When is an employee too flirtatious? While there’s no such thing as a line drawn in the sand when it comes to flirting, you know you’ve gone too far if it starts affecting the morale and productivity of your colleagues. If that sounds too corporate, then think of it this way: if you’re making people uncomfortable, then you’re overdoing it. You can’t affect the morale of your team at work – if people start thinking of you as “the person who flirts incessantly with Mr./Ms. X”, then there’s a problem.

How should bosses deal with office flirts?

Picture this: you’re a manager in a company with several people working for you. One of them is a major flirt, to the extent that some people have come to you to complain about this person’s behaviour. How do you handle the situation?

The key here is tact. Flirting can – believe or not – constitute sexual harassment, so you have to deal with the situation carefully. So don’t embarrass the flirt in front of their colleagues. Instead, take them aside and explain to them behind closed doors that their behaviour is disruptive, and that it’s affecting employee morale. Give the person specific examples that show that their flirting is out of line. Tell them that Person X doesn’t like it when you pat them on the shoulder, hug them, etc. By giving concrete examples, you’ll better show the flirt that they’re doing something that is clearly a no-no.
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You started online dating to meet a man. Now it is time to meet your online match for the first time. Meeting him in a comfortable environment will give you the best chance to relax while you explore the romantic possibilities.

Meet As Friends

When it comes time to meet your match in person, meet as friends. Don’t go to your first meeting with the idea in your mind that he is The One or might be The One. That puts way too much pressure on your first meeting.

Meet At An Agreed Place

When you are ready to meet your match, suggest meeting on the weekend. Meeting for lunch, coffee or dessert all work well since none implies huge expectations. You might ask for a few suggestions, but I think you should select the place to meet. This allows you to choose a place where you will feel comfortable. Unless one of you is driving a long distance, I would try to make the first meeting fairly short. Just like with the first phone call, you want to leave him wanting more.

Go Dutch

Since you will be of meeting as friends, suggest going Dutch on your first meeting. That my help avoid an awkward situation. If he offers to pay, you can always accept his nice offer. Either way, there will be clarity on the issue.

Dress Casual

I would suggest you discuss with your match dressing casual for your first meeting. I think that helps everyone to keep their expectations in check and promotes a friendly, comfortable environment to explore the possibilities for romance. Your focus should be on one another, not the clothes that you each are wearing.

Discuss How You Will Greet One Another

To avoid an awkward situation, I would recommend you mention how you would like to greet one another when you first meet. You may feel comfortable greeting him with a big friendly hug. You may decide you would be more comfortable waiting until you say goodbye. Discussing the issue beforehand will insure there are no hurt feelings or misunderstandings.

Tell A Friend

For the first few times you plan to meet one of your matches, tell a friend who you are meeting, where you are meeting, when you are meeting, what is planned for the date and when you will call her back with all the juicy details.

Have Fun

When you finally meet your match, relax, be yourself and have a good time. Remember, there is nothing prettier on a woman than a smile.

Send An E-Mail After Your First Meeting

If you had a successful first meeting, before you go to bed, send him a short e-mail saying that you enjoyed meeting him in person. It is a nice way to gently let him know that you are interested and worth pursuing.

Transitioning To A Real World Relationship

Meeting your match for the first time is a big step in transitioning you from an online/phone relationship to one in the real world. It still may be awhile before you feel comfortable enough to give him your phone number so that he can call or your address so he can pick you up for a date. I would suggest you open yourself up to him at the rate you feel comfortable. If he is a quality guy, he will be patient and understanding.

Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/online-dating-meeting-a-man-for-the-first-time-76120.html

About the author: Timothy Mahar runs the website RomanceForEveryone.com which includes both online dating tips for men and online dating tips for women.

Make sure you also have a read of our Online Dating Safety guide!

What do you think is important to remember when meeting an online friend in person for the first time? We’d love to hear your comments and you can leave the below…

It’s a controversial topic… So Naomi Robson put the question to professional match maker, Samantha Jayne, the CEO of Blue Label Life who has extensive knowledge of ‘what women want’ from dealing with her numerous female clients in her very successful match making business.

It’s the age old question, should the man pay? Should they go Dutch, or should the person who asked the other on a date pay? It’s an issue that can be a bit confusing to men – are they expected to pay for the first date? How should they handle this?

Well, Samantha has this dating advice for men. Don’t shoot the messenger – she’s speaking from the experiences of her female clients.

Naomi Robson is the Director of Little Frog Productions, trading as NaomiShow.com.

You might also like to check out Naomi’s interview with Samantha about Blue Label Life – how it works, what it costs and her success rate in  What can a professional match maker do for you?

Or you can read Samantha’s article:
First date – Who should pay?

And we’d love to hear your thoughts on who should pay for the first date.. and you can leave your comments below, no need to be a member – just post away!

How can you tell if a woman is interested in you? Some commonly-heard answers include the following:

“If she tilts her head to the side and strokes her neck with the back of her fingers, then it’s a sign that she’s interested.”

“If she licks her lips slowly, as if longing for you, then that means she’s interested.”

“If she laughs a lot and looks you in the eye, then she’s really into you.”

These signs are all well and fine, but there’s just one big problem. Women generally exhibit these signs of great interest maybe in one out of every 1,000 times they talk to a man. What’s more, these don’t say a thing about how to elicit these kinds of responses from a woman.

Suppose you walk into a bar with friends, and then you start looking for attractive women to talk to. What are the chances that you’ll see one tilt their head, stroke their neck, or lick their lips in your direction? Of course. Zero. These women don’t even know you yet. So do most attractive women you meet in life.

So what do most men do in this situation? They either (1) do nothing, because they’re afraid they might scare her away, or (2) they do something typical, like asking her to dance or buying her a drink.

Either way, the approach almost never works. After a drink or a dance, she says thanks and goes her way. Why? Because you can’t choose to make women attracted to you. Attraction isn’t a choice. And if you do what every single guy before you did to her, she definitely won’t feel it for you.

So here’s a little tip to help you along. Mess with her.

That’s right. Tease. Joke. Be difficult. Act as though you’ve known her for as long as you can remember. This may sound crazy, but this instantly tells her the following:

1) You aren’t afraid of what she thinks of you.

2) You’re fun.

3) You’re unpredictable.

4) You’re a wild card.

5) You’re a guy who gets the picture.

You see, it’s a lot simpler to tell whether or not she’s interested than you think. If you engage her, and she engages you back, then that means it’s on. If she bumps you in the bar and you go, “Hey, watch it, okay, I need about a foot of space here!” and she plays along and pretends to move away, then it’s on.

If she laughs when you ask if there’s a puppy in her oversized handbag, it’s on.

If she laughs and agrees when you invite her to your table, it’s on.

In a nutshell, you’ll need to stop looking around for signs that women are attracted to you. Stop caring what she thinks of you. And instead of waiting for the attraction, go ahead and trigger it on your own. Remember that the signs are caused by you.

Source: Isnare Free Articles Directory http://www.isnare.com

About the author: Find out a secret that women know but men don’t. Michael Dat specialises in dating techniques for men. Visit http://www.datingquestionsformen.com for more dating and seduction tips.

How can you tell if a woman is attracted to you? We’d love to hear from you. To leave a comment just sign up and become a member. It’s quick, it’s easy and it’s free.

Sex can be a great way to relieve stress and improve your relationship. Here’s how…

Sex tips by Dr. Stephanie Buehler

Isn’t it ironic that so many people say that they are too wiped out to have sex, when in fact sex might be just what they need? It’s true! When you feel dragged down and out of gas, sex can bring you back to life. Instead of pulling away the next time your partner suggests a lovemaking session because you are stressed, remind yourself that sex can help you feel better.

Take a look at all the benefits of sex:

• Brings oxygen through the body. When you make love, you breathe more deeply. Fresh oxygen circulates in your body and revitalises you.
• Makes you feel secure and calm. Touch has many benefits to it, one of which is to calm you down. Touch is an essential need of all humans. Take advantage of the opportunity to get your “touch hunger” filled.
• Making a connection. There is plenty of research which demonstrates that people who have social connections cope better with stress. What better way to feel connected than to have sex with someone you love?
• Happy chemicals. Making love boosts all kinds of beneficial brain chemicals, including serotonin, dopamine, and endorphins. Sex is a great stress reliever and also can elevate your mood.
• Aerobic activity. Although sex is not a tremendous calorie burner, it does supply some aerobic activity, which is a good idea when it comes to managing stress.
• Natural sleeping aid. Many people feel more relaxed after sex or orgasm and get a good night’s sleep. Why not make love instead of taking a pill?

What if you claim that you really are just too stressed to make love? How about preparing yourself with some other ways to relax?

• A warm shower or bath can help you wash away the cares of the day and relax tense muscles. If you have access to a hot tub, that would be wonderful, too.
• A rubdown with massage oil is a great way to prepare for sex. Or you could use a electric- or battery-powered massager if you and your partner want to save more of your energy for sex. Your massage can be nonsexual, that is, really focused on relieving muscle tension, or it can be sensual, as part of foreplay. You get to decide.
• Have some relaxing tunes on hand. Smooth jazz or soft acoustic guitar are good choices. Listen to music by yourself if you need to wind down, then ask your partner to join you as you begin to engage in foreplay.
• Soft lighting or candlelight are good for relaxing, too. After a day spent under fluorescent lights, being able to rest your eyes can be calming. Or try lying down for a bit with an eye pillow, a small rectangular cloth envelope filled with rice or buckwheat hulls. The light pressure will soothe your eyes and relax your body.
• Maybe you need a little snack pick-me-up to energize yourself for sex. Try a food that is an aphrodisiac. Almonds and a bit of apricot nectar mixed with sparkling water could perk you up for just a little more sexy activity.

There’s really no purpose served in putting off sex in times of stress. In fact, you could think about sex as just about the only positive way of multitasking: Having sex, reducing stress and making your partner happy all in relatively short span of time! So stop making excuses not to have sex and starting putting it at the top of your “to do” list when start to feel overwhelmed.

About the author: Dr. Stephanie Buehler is a psychologist specializing in sex therapy. She is an expert at helping people find passion and love, both in and out of the bedroom. Get a copy of her free e-book “Sexual Discoveries: 25 Secrets for Incredible Passion” by clicking http://www.yourpassionexpert.com

Article Source: EzineArticles.com

For more sex tips to improve your relationship, you might also like to check out:
The Benefits of Sex
Relationship rescue – Bored with your love life?
What can a woman do if her man has lost his sex drive? Pt 1 (watch video)
What can a man do if his partner has lost interest in sex? Pt 1 (watch video)

Can you think of any other benefits of sex for your relationship? We’d love to hear your thoughts and you can leave a comment (anonymously if you’d prefer) in the box below… No need to be a member – just post away!

Do you suspect your partner is keeping a secret from you? Naomi Robson is here with body language and flirting expert Katia Loisel-Furey to talk about how you can tell if your partner is lying to you or being unfaithful.

People may lie but their body language doesn’t. And there are plenty of body language indicators that can give people away when they’re being dishonest.. words may be saying one thing but our body is saying quite another! Katia shares the key signs to look out for that your partner is hiding something from you.

About Katia Loisel-Furey. Katia is a body language and flirting expert who ran speed dating events for 11 years. She’s also the co-author of “How to get the man you want/How to get the woman you want” and you can find out more about her at www.howtogettheoneyouwant.com

For more relationship advice on dishonesty, you might also like to check out:
Can a cheater truly change?
Relationship red flags – Do you really belong together?
Dating men – Four secrets men keep

Does your boyfriend stare at other women? Here is a letter from someone who is struggling with this problem…

By Tonja Weimer

“My boyfriend is always staring at other women. He doesn’t just casually look. He stares. When we go out to dinner, or any other place, if there is a pretty girl around, his head turns like it is on a swivel. I have mentioned this to him several times but he still does it. I feel guilty saying anything because he is generally a nice guy. Most people don’t understand why I am upset. Sometimes, I can feel myself getting mad but he doesn’t seem to notice. What should I do? Is this all my problem? Should I leave him alone about this? Sometimes I think that if he keeps this up, I don’t want to be with him.”

Men who blatantly look at other women while they are out with their partner often do not understand how hurtful their actions are. This is a sore spot for many couples. In a lot of cases, women think men are held hostage to their hormones and just can’t help looking at other women. Men think that if they are only “looking”, no harm is done. Some women do not find this behaviour offensive, some get their feelings hurt but don’t do anything about it and others complain about it, but nothing changes.

So what can you do if your favorite guy has laser eyes – and they’re not on you?

• Tell him what you have noticed and how it makes you feel. Tell your guy that he can do whatever he wants but if he’d like you in his life, he will have to alter his behaviour.
• Explain to him that what he is doing is insensitive to you.
• After you tell him, notice if he continues the same behaviour, or if he is more caring and aware than he was before.
• If his actions change, let him know that you noticed and you appreciate it.

If you continue to date someone who stares, ogles, or leers at other women while he is with you, ask yourself the following questions:

1. Why would you allow yourself to be with someone who is dismisses how you feel?

2. What keeps you from speaking up?

3. What other areas in your life do you let people treat you like you are not there and your feelings don’t matter?

I think you can trust your reaction to your boyfriend’s staring. It’s a healthy response to what is probably unconscious behaviour on his part. However, if he continues to stare blatantly at other women after you’ve let him know how it makes you feel, it could be time to reassess your relationship.

You deserve someone who is kind, attentive, and caring. This is a perfect time to let him and the world know, the only girl you want your guy looking at–is you.

About the author: Visit http://www.tonjaweimer.com Or http://www.singlesdatingtips.com for more tips, skills, and insight on dating, relationships, singles, and love. Subscribe to our F*ree Savvy Dating Newsletter from master single’s coach, life coach, and syndicated columnist, Tonja Weimer. Copyright 2006, Tonja Weimer. (Please note source if reprinting this article.)

Article Source: EzineArticles.com

For more dating advice related to this problem, you might also like to check out:
5 things he’ll change for you, 5 things he won’t
Looking for love? Avoid dating these types of guys
How to know if a guy like you – it’s simple!

Do you think guys should stop looking at other women all together? We’d love to hear your thoughts and you ca post a comment (anonymously if you’d prefer) in the box below… No need to be a member – just post away!

Quick Tips For Recovering When You’ve Messed Up in Dating or in Life!

By Sherene McHenry PhD

Let the world laugh with you and you’ll be loved.

Classes started last week, a wonderfully exciting and hectic time. Wanting to cut down on my stress, I was prepared well in advance. Office hours the first day passed quickly as I kept busy helping students and reconnecting with colleagues. Heading out to class 10 minutes early, I was feeling pretty pleased with myself.

Imagine my surprise when I got to my room and another professor was holding class. Slightly confused, I went back to the office. Unfortunately, even with prior planning, my brain hadn’t got the right room. No problem, I still had eight minutes! I hustled down the hall and opened the door shocked to find a room full of students seated and ready to go, looking slightly confused themselves. Unfortunately, I hadn’t noticed that the battery in my watch was dying and instead of being early, I was late. Not the best way to start a semester! With my brain still whirling from back to back mess ups, I faced the choice of getting flustered and frustrated or laughing at myself. I choose the latter and we had a great class.

No one walks through life screw up free. The unexpected happens, even with the best of planning, and everyone makes mistakes. The following are tips for picking yourself back up and moving on when things go awry or you mess up.

1. Remember that people are resilient and forgiving

Unless you mess up all the time and have created a trust problem, people are resilient and willing to forgive when others take responsibility for the mistakes they’ve made. My students’ favourite story is the first time a married couple I was counselling told me they were having sex problems. I got so nervous, I couldn’t stop giggling. I can still see the look of horror and confusion on my clients’ faces. Trust me, there’s little worse a counsellor can do than laugh at a couple’s sex life! I pulled it together, apologised profusely and we began to work on their problems. If you sincerely apologise when you mess up and do what it takes to make things right, people are generally more than willing to forgive and get back to what needs done.

2. Choose laughter.

When you choose to laugh at yourself, it sends a clear message about who you are as a person, and frees others to laugh at themselves as well. Tension and rigidity create additional stress and strife. When I mess up like this week, I generally make a quip about being an absent minded professor, everyone laughs and we move on to what we should have been doing in the first place.

3. Take time to regroup.

Two back to back mess ups left me feeling flustered. I knew I needed a few minutes to regroup if we were going to have a successful evening. After laughing at myself and apologising, I simply said, “I need a couple of minutes to regroup. Please tell your neighbor the best thing that happened to you this summer.”

When you’re flustered and having a hard time moving on, ask for what you need, take several deep breaths and pull yourself together. When you take care of yourself, you set yourself up for success and model for others how to do so as well.

4. Let it go!

The world isn’t going to stop turning just because you made a mistake. You can waste precious time and energy beating yourself up and bashing your self esteem, or you can admit you’re human and choose to forgive yourself.

If you’ve recently messed up in love or dating, ask yourself two questions:

1) Did I do the best I could at the time?

2) If I got a “do over” would I do it differently? Answering yes to either frees you up for future success. Cut loose the ball and chain of self reproach that holds you back and keeps you from living life to the fullest.

How do I know so much about recovering from a mess up? I’ve had lots of practice! Learning to laugh at myself and letting others laugh with me has radically improved my quality of life. Embrace your humanity, learn to forgive and laugh at yourself. Your life will be better and a lot more fun for everyone.

About the author: Sherene is a professor at Central Michigan University and runs a company called Fully Engaged. She speaks around the world on developing healthier relationships and living life more fully. Go to http://fullyengaged.us for additional resources and information.

Article Source: EzineArticles.com

For more advice to help you recover from dating mistakes, you might also like to check out:
How self-esteem plays an important role in dating
Are you struggling with dating anxiety?
Dealing with rejection
How to flirt (watch video)

Have you made any dating mistakes you were able to laugh your way out of? We’d love to hear form you and you can leave a comment in the box below… No need to be a member – just post away!

Are you and your partner fighting fair? Tips on how to handle conflict in a relationship…

By Danielle Ollington from Relationships Australia

All couples argue – in fact it is much healthier to clear the air than to have issues go underground, never to be spoken about. Being in a couple relationship means having to find a way to manage differences, disappointment, unmet needs and fears. But, how can couples communicate in a way where it doesn’t feel like there is a ‘winner’ and ‘loser’?

A really important factor is the perception you have of your relationship. Does it feel like you and your partner are on the same team or opposing teams? To create more of a sense of team, hold in mind what you admire and value about your partner. Find a way to remember these qualities in the tough times.

Develop and then trust the sense that each of you has the other’s best interests at heart. Privilege the relationship over and above each person – it might be great for the individual to pursue a solitary activity, but how does energy then get put back into the couple relationship? Aim for fairness. Appreciate what the other contributes – it may be financial, childcare, organising social events, or bringing humour to the relationship. (Why laughter is vital to a healthy relationship)

Secondly, it’s important to have some strategies and rules that enable you to manage issues with respect and love. When something works, find a way to remember it for next time, because there will be a next time. Here are some practical suggestions that might be useful:

• When something is bothering you, wait 24 hours before you bring it up. You’re likely to raise it in a calmer way.
• Don’t make comments that are below the belt – like calling names, criticising your partner’s family, swearing, or attacking their personality (eg you are such a control freak).
• Practice a safe talking technique where one person gets 5 minutes to talk uninterrupted and the other then summarises their words. Then swap positions so that you each get a better understanding of the other’s perspective (empathy).
• Use ‘I’ statements like ‘I feel sad when we….” versus a blaming statement like ‘You never……..’
• Emphasise your desire to feel close and connected, for example, ‘I really love you and feel worried that we can’t sort out……. because I’d really like to work it out with you.”
• Implement a time out technique for when things get heated, say something like ‘I need some time to think, can we talk again in an hour.’ It’s really important to return when you said you would and to re-engage in the conversation. It’s also important to not follow the person who needs time out. Allow them to have space.

Finally, it’s vital that you and your partner have some ways to repair the relationship after arguments and that you have an awareness of how you each make repair efforts. Appreciate difference – talking about the conflict isn’t the only way to regain good will. Cooking a nice dinner can also be a repair attempt.

Being able to apologise is one of the healthiest things you can do in a relationship, even when it feels really hard to do. Admitting the ways in which you contribute to things going wrong is also very healthy.

Remember that underneath anger there is often sadness or fear. Know what is underneath your anger, or what buttons are being pressed. It’s fantastic if you can say ‘I know that I can get really anxious about entertaining your friends and when I get anxious, I end up snapping at you.’ Take it a step further and tell your partner how they can help you to manage the anxiety.

Arguing, particularly the first one can feel really scary – so scary that people want to keep things nice because they worry that the relationship might not survive. There is a hidden cost though: not expressing your needs can build resentment. Being able to soothe yourself and believe that your relationship can survive conflict is an important skill to develop.

Remember, relationships are about being a team and helping each other to feel secure. It’s ok to fight, but fight fair and fight above the belt.

About the author: This article was written by Danielle Ollington, a counsellor with Relationships Australia Victoria, part of a federation of Relationships Australia organisations providing relationship support services to individuals, couples and families. To find out more, go to www.relationshipsvictoria.com.au

For more relationship advice to help you resolve conflict in your relationship, you might also like to check out:
Arguments – How to deal with them in your relationship (watch video)
Accept your differences – They could be great for your relationship
Pick your battles and keep your relationship together
How to win arguments in your relationship

How do you deal with conflict in your relationship? We’d love to hear about your experiences and you can post a comment (anonymously if you’d prefer) in the box below… No need to be a member – just post away!

Charmaine says:

It’s unusual to get an STD without knowing how it happened. I assume she’s getting her condition attended to medically. Not all STDs are contracted by intercourse so don’t jump to conclusions and get suspicious without checking all the facts. Once she’s physically better, have an honest discussion about the whole situation. If in fact, she was unfaithful, then there’s a deeper issue to be resolved. Maybe, in the end, this unfortunate incident will offer a gift. Take it that way and benefit from its lesson, whatever that ends up being.

About the author: Dr Charmaine Saunders is a therapist with specific and extensive experience in the area of personal development, relationships, wellness, sexuality, positive aspect to life. She’s a published author, does a regular segment on 6PR and is used by many leading publications including Cosmo, Marie-Claire and New Woman. You can visit her website atwww.charmainesaunders.com.

If you want to ask Dr Charmaine anything just send in your questions to questions@naomishow.com and put Ask Charmaine in the subject line of the email. Dr Charmaine will answer your question as soon as she can – but please be patient, and she has a number of questions to get through. Alternatively, you can post a comment below – no need to become a member – just post away.

For more relationship advice to help you find out if your partner has been unfaithful, you might also like to check out:
46 clues your partner is having an affair
Is your partner cheating? What to look out for (watch video)