Help! I don’t understand the dating game

I am a 40 year old woman who has now been divorced for 2 ½ years.  I am now just getting back in the dating scene and have a question in regards to a man I recently met.  We met on an online dating website after he ‘winked’ at me.  We spoke daily on the phone for three weeks before going on our first date.  The date was a lot of fun and the night ended with him walking me to my car and asking me if he could call me sometime to go out again.  He then kissed me goodbye.  The next day he emailed me and said he had a fun night.  That was almost a week ago.  That was it, he has not called back at all.  I just get one-liner emails every day.  I have no idea what I should say and if I should call him.  I am very interested in him but it has been 20 years since I have dated and I find myself lost and do not know how to proceed.  Please help!

Charmaine Says:

It is baffling to return to the dating scene after a number of years. Things have changed a lot! But there are basics that never change. Good manners, respect, honesty and clear communication are all still essential. Hold out for these and don’t compromise! Now, with this current guy, first of all, don’t have unrealistic expectations. He’s only one guy and you can play the field a little if you want to. Online dating is fine but there are inherent problems such as building things up by email only to find that a personal meeting bursts the bubble. It could be as simple as a lack of chemistry between you on his part when you actually met. Of course he should’ve been more honest but that’s difficult sometimes. I think his actions speak loudly enough by themselves. Wouldn’t he have made another date with you by now if he were interested? By all means, give him a ring and casually ask him out somewhere. If he’s unavailable, you’ll have your answer. The important thing is not to let this experience put you off. You’re precious and will have lots of success as long as you hold onto your own self-value.

About the author: Dr Charmaine Saunders is a therapist with specific and extensive experience in the area of personal development, relationships, wellness, sexuality, positive aspect to life. She’s a published author, does a regular segment on 6PR and is used by many leading publications including Cosmo, Marie-Claire and New Woman. You can visit her website atwww.charmainesaunders.com.

If you want to ask Dr Charmaine anything just send in your questions to questions@naomishow.com and put Ask Charmaine in the subject line of the email. Dr Charmaine will answer your question as soon as she can – but please be patient, and she has a number of questions to get through. Alternatively, you can post a comment below – no need to become a member – just post away.

For more dating advice for those fresh on the singles scene, you might also like to check out:
How to get back into the dating game – Pt 1 (watch video)
How to get back into the dating game – Pt 2 (watch video)