My wife isn’t into sex

My wife doesn’t like sex. We haven’t slept together in two years. We’ve talked about it but she says she’s just not interested in being intimate with me. She says she loves me but she said if I ever did anything, she didn’t want to hear about it. I’m getting a bit frustrated and I’ve heard other blokes are putting up with this but I don’t want to go the rest of my life without having sex again. Should I find another woman?

Charmaine Says:

No, that’s not the answer. Your wife might say she doesn’t want to know if you’re unfaithful but believe me, she doesn’t want you to do it! If you want out of your marriage, that’s a different matter but I don’t think it’s necessary yet to give up. You need to find out why your wife isn’t enjoying sex with you. Has she always felt that way? If yes, then there could be some inherent reason that can be dealt with such as an attitude or biological cause. However, if it’s more recent, your sex life might simply have become stale and uninteresting. That part, you can help fix. Be proactive, think of ways to refresh things in the bedroom. Women like frills so take the focus off sex and place it more on romance. Ask her what she would like to have, take her out on dates, buy her small presents. Of course, your technique in the bedroom also matters. Ask yourself if you have always been considerate and caring. Take this situation as an important life-challenge. Don’t give up till you’ve exhausted every possibility of improvement.

About the author: Dr Charmaine Saunders is a therapist with specific and extensive experience in the area of personal development, relationships, wellness, sexuality, positive aspect to life. She’s a published author, does a regular segment on 6PR and is used by many leading publications including Cosmo, Marie-Claire and New Woman. You can visit her website atwww.charmainesaunders.com.

If you want to ask Dr Charmaine anything just send in your questions to questions@naomishow.com and put Ask Charmaine in the subject line of the email. Dr Charmaine will answer your question as soon as she can – but please be patient, and she has a number of questions to get through. Alternatively, you can post a comment below – no need to become a member – just post away.

For more sex tips to boost the intimacy in your relationship, you might also like to check out:
What can a man do if his partner has lost interest in sex? Pt 1 (watch video)
What can a man do to get his partner interested in sex? Pt 2 (watch video)